Review: THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE (2022)

A group of young influencer hipsters roll into a ghost town ahead of a busload of potential investors. They want to make a big vintage retail paradise. One house is still occupied by a woman who seems to be about four hundred years old and her big bubba of a son who seems to be immensely younger. The new blood tell her she's trespassing in her own house which soon gives her a cardiac incident, gettin' this slasher party kickstarted.

The rest is slasher basic but done with a lot of flair. In the manner of recent revisits like Halloween (2018) or Scream (2022) this TCM pretends that there is nothing between it and the distant original. This simplifies the backstory malarky, allows a nice free ride on the reputation of a genre classic and serves as a short cut to make yet another slasher, anyway. That's what happens here.

What is there left to say? A lot of creative kills, genuine suspense and some real work done on character motivation with some fluid interaction between unlikely matches. While it is impossible to feel much for the Insta-crowd in the bus we are still given a decent familial relationship to feel for. The direct links to the 1974 film are Leatherface (no TCM without him) and Sally the final girl, now a wizened ranger in dogged pursuit of the white whale in the skin mask. Production values are through the ceiling and if you have opportunity you should see it in 4K with Dolby Vision and Dolby Atmos sound. I put that there as it really is just as important to this production as the grainy 16mm look of the first one from the '70s. And that's the thing.

This was made as a slasher full stop. The shoehorned Sally Hardesty thread is entertaining but you know where it's going and where it's come from as soon as it's introduced. That and the retooled introduction are here for their brand power. Why can't they just make a contemporary slasher? Why should they? The brand is right there and a little lip service later you've got both.

I'm not precious about reimagined classics as most of them fall on their faces without my help. The only danger there is that new audiences might affect them in ignorance of the source. Remember though, that, for all the theses written and all the reverent DVD commentaries spoken about films like the 1974 TCM they are still talking about films that were made to exploit markets and start or boost careers. TCM is a well made film as it plunges right into the core where the horror is located and doesn't let up. It should survive any failure to see the subtext or reference or irony or metathing. That doesn't rule those interpretations out because the thing is there to inform and intrigue as much as to delight but it is the delight that must remain.

TCM 2022 does delight. It feels like the airest choctop by the time the credits roll but that's all it needs to do. Can it compete against Tobe Hooper's mighty original? Well, he pretty much slobbered over that himself in the first sequel (which is good but softened by goofiness) This one appears on your Netflix feed for a click and a ride. If anything the decisions that leave this light and effective put it above similar redos like the lacklustre Friday the 13th, Evil Dead and Blair Witch and so on as they have frequently lost themselves in earnestness and would have done much better to haven been inspired by than remade. I will never bother watching TCM 2022 again but it really was fun while it lasted.