|"Which one am I, good or bad? Go awwn, have a guess."|
Remake: Dress the monsters down or even leave out the transition from cute 'n' furry to demonic 'n' reptilian so that you never know which one has turned or not. Keep the monstered ones cute and beguiling. Kind of a mix of Aliens and a plague of Tickle Me Elmos. Joon-Ho Bong probably doesn't want to do this kind of movie after The Host so you're going to ask him nicely. VERY NICELY.
|"Some people will do anything to get out of a third act"|
Give this to David Cronenberg to extract and discard all the deus ex machina and replace it with a more severe examination of the forces that are in the structure like the alien finding a home and the tenant alienated from her home. That kind o' thing.
|"We'll they'll dig us."|
Well, they do cast it well. James McAvoy as the young idealist plummeting under the dictator's glamour and Forest Whittaker as big daddy Idi himself make for a fine pair of complimentary performances. But the film doesn't seem to udnerstand that having established these archetypes there is no further need to feed them. Indeed, which such a primary coloured canvas we should be seeing nuance and moments of disturbing ethics. We get glimpses of the latter but they are too easily swamped by the writers' resort to violence and shock which has a decreasing power by the scene.
Result Armin = bad. Young doctor = redeemable. For that last one to work we have to forgive Young Doctor all of his trembling compliance once we see a tiny act of redemption followed by an act of self-preservation. Oh , that's ok, more atrocities form Hitler 2 will cover that up. If only that had been a comment on how completely fear can manipulate us. It's lost in clumsiness.
Remake as a faux documentary. Interviews interspersed with what little would have been filmable and then show some of Idi's home movies (mocked up will do). Give it to Lars von Trier. Then watch him at Cannes.
|"Now wasn't Ah lahk this in Wahld at Harrrrt?"|
Strangle all the cuteness of this one at birth and focus on some of the serious issues that are obscured by it on screen (like Duvall's creepy ease with the notion of sterilising Rose) and emphasise the menace the small town community feels from her refulgent sexuality (ie don't have her "creatin' a heatwave" by walking down Main Street to a raunchy ragtime version of Dixie). Allow this to be scary and we'll be so grateful for any morsel of warmth it will never feel fulsome.
Let's go against type and give this to Kathryn Bigelow. We all know she can direct men. Let's see her get inside their nervous systems without a shot fired.