Monday, June 18, 2012

Ten films I dislike: 18/06/2012

E.T.: Don't care. Didn't like. Never have.

Gremlins: Wanted to be wicked but wasn't much better than cute.

Terminator: Derivative concept handled well but title role so poorly cast that it's like a holiday snapshot of a loved one that inadvertently stars some oversized goof in a g-string who was walking past at the time. Now shake vigorously and imagine the T as Lance Henriksen (who was originally cast in the role). Better. Much better.

Analyze This: Billy Crystal is funny. Robert De Niro is not.

Bicentennial Man: Asimov's ideas vs Robin Williams' vanity. Guess which one loses.

Where the Buffalo Roam: Bill Murray playing Hunter S. Thompson. That's how they pitched it. That's where they left it.

The Deer Hunter: Five minutes of good cinema wrapped in what feels like a fortnight of self-important cinema.

The Abyss: Generally like this one but two points: The guy who goes nuts is already nuts when you see him at the beginning. Ed Harris is primed to do the big deed at the end. Why him? "Someone's got to do it." So ...WHY him ...? I mean, I know, I know, he's the star. But why him?

Signs: Superb beginning and development demolished by one of the most gormlessly stupid conclusions imaginable.

Age of Innocence: Well, at least Merchant Ivory didn't do it.


  1. I liked Age of Innocence, it was way better than Portrait of a Lady. Which I never saw the end of, just couldn't cope with the barrage of intense close ups of Nicole Kidman in tears.

  2. touché. I throughly loathe "analyze this".