|Well, I'll be in Melancholia one day.|
Remake in Japan with Takeshi Miike in the chair. No genre needed.
|Hmm ... nah too many bad habits as it is.|
Remake in France with Gaspar Noe's direction. That will work.
Oh, not everything by Ferrara is bad. His film of Larry Cohen's remake, Bodysnatchers, is superb. Must have been Cohen.
|Yeah but I'll still have a career after this movie.|
Remake in France as a stone cold stalker thriller. The jokes will come.
|Jerry Lewis. Johnny Depp. Eskimo costumes. Halibut. We can't lose!|
Remake in Japan by Sion Sonno. It could be three hours long and I'd sit through it.
|One shot at stardom and they blow it. Thank God it's only a movie|
Remake in Melbourne as a mockumentary and set it in the early 80s and concentrate on the guitarist's arc so the punchline of the joke at the end will be funnier. Richard Lowestein has learned since Dogs in Space that rock music and goofiness don't mix so he's in the chair on this one.